That time of day already huh! Goodness would you drop that backpack already? Just leave it there at the bottom of the stairs, no need to lug it another inch. Your hunched shoulders tell me that thing weighs a ton. Now close your mouth you’ll catch flies, you act like you’ve never been here. Come on up to the porch, I have a pitcher and a glass there with your name on it. You still get the rocker that squeaks but you’ve sat in it enough to know it’s comfortable. What a look that is on your face! It always amazes me how we have to start from the beginning each time to help you remember this place. When you were a young’un you’d just run up those stairs, bowl me over with a hug and then guzzle down every bit of the contents in that pitcher. My, my, the energy you have. Don’t you snort at that! You’ve still got that energy, that life bubbling inside, things just seem a little different now with age – but it’s only perception.

Now have a seat, some of that tension in your shoulders is easing in that old rocker isn’t it? Whatever is running in that wonderful mind of yours will still be there in a bit. For now just breathe and really look around. Look – there’s Tekoa. Ah, some recognition glimmers in those eyes of yours. Who wouldn’t remember such an impressive wolf, he looks so serious at first glance but look at him now; chasing lightning bugs and howling like a freshly weaned pup! Finally a chuckle out of you it’s about time! Still uncertain that you’re really here watching a wolf chase lightning bugs in the cool twilight of the hill country? What does it matter if you’re dreaming or awake? Aren’t your dreams real? Apparently Tekoa has tuckered himself out finally. Look how he shuffles up the porch steps panting. Silly pup, no don’t panic he’s just going to curl up at your feet, he’s played with you since you were a pup yourself. No, no I assure you, you’ve not lost your mind.

You get faster at remembering this place each time you visit but I just wish you’d let that “young’un memory” kick back in because you just trusted you belonged. That’s ok though, I don’t mind reminding you who you are and where you’re from because I enjoy reliving our times together. Not all our times have been as quietly joyful as this night. Even the painful times though have been bittersweet and no amount of pain and shouting could stop the wheels I have in motion for you. Even flowers have to break through hard soil to really unfurl.

Now, let’s start with something simple – who are you? No, not a name like what you’re familiar with… That’s alright, let’s don’t get too hung up on that question. Let me elaborate a bit, sometimes I call you Anamchara – soulmate, other times you are my Laoich – warrior. There is a lot in a name and they are all important but my favorite name for you is – “mine”. Feel that warmth in your chest? Yes, that’s where recognition and remembrance starts. It’s not a brain function, it’s a heart function that then travels to your brain. Just let that warmth spread as your true eyes open, the eyes of your heart. You are starting to remember little by little who you are, not your title…

I can see realization starting to break like a sunrise! Let’s try a different question – how was your week? Hold on, let me write this down. Wow that’s quite a list… let’s see if I heard you correctly because I don’t remember these times but I’m glad you brought them up. You yelled at your kids after picking a fight with your spouse? Screamed at the person who was driving at least 10 miles under the speed-limit? Were quietly jealous of your friend’s seemingly all together life? You said some pretty creative disparaging things about people at work under your breath? And there are others I wrote down but that hit the high points right? Good, let me just take care of this really quick. Yep, you got it, everything you told me and I wrote down is just a pile of ash. I have no patience for regrets that will hold you back and with my very breath I will incinerate anything you will let me take. Look how the breeze scatters the ashes, gonna be great fertilizer for my roses over there. Won’t be easy to piece that list back together now! Now that part is done let me tell you what I saw this past week…

I saw my young’un overwhelmed, but not down for the count. Man I get excited watching you rally! Even in those hard times I see that spark of light start to build inside. I ached with you on the days your frustration spilled out onto your family and friends so I sent some extra help your way. I saw you rise above after you cried out and accepted our help. Just whispering “help!” and no more will always have us running to you and bringing you to the higher places. Remember how you later apologized to your family? I was so proud of your simple “I’m sorry” I could have popped! Here is the thing, you are right to tell me all the challenges you’ve faced because only then can I take them from you and banish them. But you are forgetting the most important part – we don’t see the challenges, we’re not keeping score, we just see you and truly couldn’t be more thrilled with you.

You’re not a “failure” at anything. Some qualities I’d to see a little more clearly in you and are harder to bring out than others so we have to try a situation a few times to get it right. Remember the breeze on your face as tears of hopelessness trickled down your cheeks when no one was around? That was me catching your tears to keep for a greater purpose you don’t even know yet. Nothing is wasted I use everything, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. I don’t know where you all started to think we only use the good stuff that happens. There’s that “head sense” again. Such a wonderful brain! Just use it wisely, your heart and spirit need equal time to talk with me and work on things too! We can accomplish a lot in a short time as you will see when you get back to the other place.

Yes, this place exists all the time. It kind of plays in the background, like those apps everyone messes with these days. However, I will admit to great enjoyment at sling-shooting a bird through the air at obstacles now and again! What, you think there’s no WiFi on this hill? Ha! You wouldn’t believe the networks around here. This place is your reality too. You’re really from here, this wonderfully changeable but consistent place. Everyone experiences it differently but we are always here, waiting and cheering you on. You should hear the noise around here when you do something as simple as letting the older, slower woman in line ahead of you at the grocery store – even while you grind your teeth. It’s like the Fourth of July on steroids! Ah, I see that young’un in your eyes again. You have always belonged here, you’re just visiting the time and place you think is more real than here. Tekoa feels warm and real curled up on your feet there doesn’t he?! Remember where you come from – it’s pretty good family stock you know! Oh my, that’s a big yawn, I’m glad to see you’re settling in. Would you look at those fireflies? Too many to count you say? Funny you say that… Rest your eyes for a bit and we’ll talk more later about who you are, we have plenty of time…

A couple months ago, I was on a flight from Texas to South Carolina, bringing my Dad back home with me for a visit.  We had booked the flights late and so we each had a middle seat about 10 rows apart.  Because my Dad is 88, I asked to pre-board with him. The agent asked for my boarding passes and said, let me see what I can do. Next thing I knew he had us seated together in a window and middle seat with the aisle open.  As it was a very full flight, I prayed about the woman that would probably sit next to me, (these days I seem to do a lot of ministry in airplanes and restaurants.)  

An older woman slowed down, eyeing the seat beside me but kept going.  Then, a young woman seemed to be heading to the seat, but also kept going.  I got busy with my computer, and next thing I knew a guy was packing his things in the overhead and then sat down next to me with a couple of wet wipes, boisterously saying, “you probably think I’m crazy”…big blue eyes smiling, as he wiped the tray table in his seat.  I said, “ I don’t think you’re crazy, I’m a mom”,  and he handed me a couple wipes.   As I cleaned my tray table he introduced himself as Bob, and I reciprocated and introduced my Dad too.

Somehow, almost immediately, he started to tell me about the events, over the last year, of his life that had led him to believe in Jesus, to meditate and obey the things he felt the Lord saying to him.  He asked if we wanted to read the things the Lord had said to him.  (All the while we are still on the ground – delayed because the toilet up front needed repair.)  Dad and I said, “Sure!”  So he got up and got his bag down and pulled out a clipboard with notes from his conversation with God. Mysteriously the plane was very quiet as we waited, which drew everyone’s attention to Bob’s story.  No one seemed to be in conversation or on the phone.  I was aware, though he didn’t seem to be, that everyone within a couple rows seemed to be listening to our conversation.

On the clipboard he had written down what the Lord told him and his responses.  Everything the Lord said was very clear and very much the God I know.  He heard clearly and obeyed even when it was crazy!  The Lord asked some hard things of him and told him he would receive nothing for doing it, but he did it anyway.  The things the Lord asked involved putting in more than a year of work to try and help a young woman he barely knew. It cost him and his wife money out of their own pockets.  The Lord put a fatherly heart for the woman into him, so it cost him emotionally too. It cost him time and he constantly questioned whether he was really hearing from God or if he was going crazy! In the end, the woman, who according to attorneys should, without question, have gone to prison, ended up in a serious rehab and time served.  The Lord had instructed Bob to take care of His daughter and he had done just that.

Before these experiences, he had known about Jesus and believed in a higher power or God.  He said that he now realizes that Jesus is real, He wants to move forward but doesn’t know how.  I encouraged him in all he was hearing and doing.  At a certain point, at nearly the end of our 2 1/2 hour flight, I felt like we were done, so when he returned from the back, I excused myself and put on headphones as I had originally planned to do. As soon as I did, I saw a picture of a baby tiger! It was tiny but fully formed.  (About a month before, I had had a vision about walking along hand in hand with Father and petting a fully grown tiger that walked along beside us.  Then I moved beneath the tiger and pushed my hands up, somehow birthing a baby tiger!)  As soon as I saw the tiger, I knew I needed to pray with him and stay connected to him.  This was a surprise to me as I had assumed all my baby tigers would be women, since that is where the Lord has had me focused for the past few years.  Wow!  How amazing is the Lord?  A month or so ago he gives me a vision about birthing baby tigers, now he brings one to me!  I told him that he needed to let me pray for him right then.  He said, “Right now?”  I said, “Yes.”  So I put my hand on his head (felt led to) and prayed some crazy prophetic prayer over him.  The Spirit was all over it and it was really cool.  That day was Bob’s birthday (in the natural and maybe in the spirit too).  Dad and I had been moved to those seats and Bob had been too!  Cool!

Well, you know how when you have made a good connection with someone on a flight, but it feels awkward to try and continue a relationship?  It felt like that, but nevertheless, I gave him a card and asked him to let me know how things went with the girl.  He reciprocated  and a few days later I got a call from him.  He wanted to know what he had felt when I prayed for him and why did he feel like we were supposed to be connected.  He felt awkward calling me but he has lots of questions about how to know when he’s hearing God and whether he has given good advice or not.  I am constantly amazed at the level of relationship he has with the Lord already, the level of understanding that has come into his life as a result, and the amount of loving acts that come out of his life as a result.  His true religion, true intimacy with Father surpasses many believers who have been walking with the Lord a long time. (See James 1:27)

A couple weeks later, on my birthday, my husband and I got to do a FaceTime call with Bob, a little get-to-know-you for the guys and a little counseling/prayer time too.

A couple weeks after that Bob came over for lunch while on a business trip through our city.  He had gotten some shockingly bad news on the way over and was still rather staggered.  He said that he got a call from the Rehab place where the woman was doing her time and they said that they were bouncing her out, with a very short time left on her sentence.  That would mean that she was going to prison.  No details were given and he had a lot of calls to make to try and find out what was going on. He was trying to understand how this could be after the year of following God’s leading.  We reassured him that things are not usually as they seem in the natural.   After lunch we prayed with him, expelling fear and replacing it with the perfect love of the Father.  His attitude was improved, but he wanted to get moving and see what he could find out.  It was kind of surreal to all of us the way the Lord had worked out our meeting on the plane, and now he was here at our house and we all knew the Lord had more purposes in mind!

About a week later, when she was settled into a temporary situation, Bob asked that I recommend some books for her.   I recommended a few but he only could find her one of them on short notice.  She voraciously read, “Fashioned to Reign” by Kris Vallotton.  She loved it.  Bob had told her about our meeting and that we were now praying for her too.  As soon as possible we want to go and visit her, but we also knew she needed some help sooner, so Bob arranged for her to be able to call me.  I received an automated operator telling me that this was a call from a prisoner and that I had 15 minutes and would be recorded.  No pressure!

After quick hellos, I verified that she had become a believer some years before, then quickly helped her to understand what belongs to us as believers in terms of freedom from the curse, deliverance and authority.  It was the quickest discourse I have made so far and tried to clearly and concisely help her to understand, then prayed a prayer of deliverance for a couple specific things the Holy Spirit called to mind, and then prayed the filling of the Holy Spirit.  Lastly I gave her some tools to do spiritual warfare.  I expressed my love for her and let her know that she is not alone in this and that was about all the time we had.  I know there will be more to cover with her later, but it was a beginning and the Lord has brought us together for His purposes.

So yesterday Bob texted me that he was at an airport in Monroe, LA and met a priest, Father Joe who was heading to Rome to be involved with the canonization of Mother Theresa.  Father Joe had been her confessor for 19 years!  Bob, (raised a catholic), asked him why it was necessary to confess to another human.  The priest told him it was the need to say it out loud to fully experience the forgiveness.  I thought this was a pretty good biblical answer.  Bob proceeded to tell the priest and his entourage about his experiences with God and he boldly asked questions and gave his opinions on things that again surprised me for a new believer.  Wow!

In the vision with the tigers, the Father and I, (as a little child), walked out of an orchard with dew on the ground and walked out onto a road in the midst of grading but in early stages. We were walking toward a stand of young planted pine trees that were tall but not fully mature yet. But this place in between was in full sun; hot and dry and there was a little grey rock gravel on the ground like a temporary fix.  This is the place where the tiger joined us on our walk and where the baby tiger was produced too. I petted the side of the tiger’s face as I held onto Father’s hand, then pet along the neck, then along the side and finally pushed the baby tiger up and out.  It was important that I was holding Father’s hand until the birth or the tiger, that seemed so docile, may have eaten me. Tigers are known for their voracious appetites and their fierceness and focus in going after prey.  (These are the ones hungry for God.)  

All of this makes me think that we will be raising up believers out of the worldly places, the difficult places, the rocky places, like Bob and Rebecca (another story) and they will need nurturing and exposure to the love of Jesus for them to grow deep roots.  We will need to feed their hunger, teach them how to find nourishment for themselves, deliver them and bring the living water of the Holy Spirit to the dry places.  Whoa!  I know this is the call on my life and my husband’s, to raise up and bring believers to maturity.  Maybe it is yours too?

Intercession has become a large part of my life. A few years ago, I would have been afraid of“the intercessor type”. Those are weird people. Depressed people. Serious people. I have had enough seriousness and depression to fill a lake. This was not what I was looking for. But a couple of years ago, a friend gave me the tug, asking me to join in a group meeting at her house to pray for the church leadership. I love her, so I said yes. I had no idea what I was saying yes to, but I’m very grateful I did.

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned and am learning is that every single part of the body is so important. Your voice is important. And whether we praise together or pray together, if your voice is not heard, then a chord of the song is missing. The body becomes disjointed, and doesn’t function as it was designed to.

Monday evenings is prayer time at my church. The intercessors are in one area. The prayer ministers serve by praying over individuals in another area. I’ve grown to love the time in the intercessory room. It’s a time of worship, and watching the Holy Spirit flow through everyone there to call for Abba’s purposes to be released in our church, but also in the world. I’m not sure when, but a subtle mindset began to slip in that somehow what we were doing was a tad more important than the individual prayer time happening next door.

I have been dealing with some physical symptoms, so I was tired and laid down for an afternoon rest. I heard the Holy Spirit say, “You need personal prayer tonight. Go to the prayer room.” I resisted of course, and shrugged it off. He could heal me, touch me in our room.

But as we arrived that evening, He wouldn’t let me go into the intercession room. I submitted, but it felt humbling to me as I entered the prayer room, almost ashamed that I wasn’t stronger and that I needed prayer.

I sat in the back as soothing worship music flowed over my soul like a balm. In an instant, with my eyes closed, I saw a silky, white wing envelope me. Then I saw the King come and place a crown on my head, and say, “May I dance with my daughter?” I took his hand, and He gave me a twirl. Hot, gentle tears began to trickle down my cheeks. By the time the host came for me, I was weeping. She guided me to the group that would pray over me. While we walked, I asked Abba if He would allow them to see the same thing as I had seen while waiting.

A lady I had never met began conversation with me. As she began to pray, she asked me if she could share something that seemed odd to her, unrelated to what I had shared was going on with my body. She told of the story of Jesus at the wedding feast in Cana. How they had to prepare the vessels with water, before He performed the miracle. The emphasis on the preparation. As she spoke, I just shook my head in affirmation, because what she didn’t know is we had been praying for Jesus to turn the water into wine.  We had been asking Him for new wine skins. The focus for us in intercession had also been preparation.

As I sat there, I could hear the Holy Spirit whisper in my ear. “Daughter, every part is valuable.” Placing her hands on the back of my head, the woman began to weep and shake. She said, “I see the King placing a beautiful, golden crown on your head.”, and then named all the precious stones in it. Another gentleman says, “I see you dancing with your heavenly father.” The lady returned to her seat saying, “I’ve been in a dry season, and I just experienced the love of the Father all over you.” We both were weeping as I explained that she had just confirmed what I had seen in the back.

I walked to the intercession room, a little humbler, a little more thankful for each part of the body. As I sat down in a circle, the leader in intercession was praying 1 Corinthians 12:22-24:  “22 But quite the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are [absolutely] necessary; 23 and as for those parts of the body which we consider less honorable, these we treat with greater honor; and our less presentable parts are treated with greater modesty, 24 while our more presentable parts do not require it. But God has combined the [whole] body, giving greater honor to that part which lacks it….”   When she was done, I shared what the the worn prayer warrior next door had blessed me with, the story of water to wine. Two prayer warriors smiled, and said, “Yes, we just said that as we walked in the door.”

God is so much bigger than we can ever imagine. He weaves our voices into one when we let Him. He takes pleasure in it. If you ever feel insignificant or like a toe in the body of Christ, never seen, often stumped… just remember the body could not even stand well with out you. I’m good with being a toe, or whatever part the Father sees fit to make me, because I am valuable. And so are you!

Quiet as a whisper and light as a feather she runs across leaves, bigger than she, darting from tree to tree. Little puffs of glowing particles flare and fade behind her leaving a temporary effervescent trail. Laughter bubbles up from the Little One tinkling like a tiny wind chime. Bare feet leave the tiniest imprint on the soft dark earth. The light of early morning is soft on her cheeks as she pauses to bask in the warmth. The Good One can always be found in sunlight because He is light. Conscious of the loving Spirit always next to her, she quietly asks which way? The Spirit, who can adapt to any environment, embodies sound, and many lights, responds in the language that is unique to the two of them and indicates the next spot is just over the ridge. A subtle vibration begins in the core of Little One’s body in anticipation of reaching the spot. This is what she was created to do, at least in part, there is much more but this is her favorite…

With the glee of a child she scampers over the ridge with the Spirit hovering beside her. They approach the gate. It’s magnificent. Intricately woven and hidden to those not looking, the gates absorb and release light, emitting the perfect camouflage.  Unless ,of course, you have the Spirit to guide you to them. The Little One stands in the light of the sun as the gate begins to release a song, high in tone and haunting in melody. The gate is crying out. Both the Little One and the Spirit smile. This song has been sung since the saddest day long ago, the gate and all its hidden treasures have been waiting until this time to be released. Each gate has a time to be opened, written in the veil of time by The Good One. The Little One falls to her knees humbled, yet again, in the presence of the Great Three, sometimes known as; the Good One, the Spirit and her Brother, all at the gate.

The gift of being allowed to play a role in these events brings tears to her eyes. The Great Three are smiling and inviting her to open the gate. They’ve waited so long and do not want to wait any longer. The Little One shimmy dances the last few steps to the gate because her own excitement is too great to stay shut up in that tiny body. Breathing deeply she looks at the gate made of vines and flowers yet something glowing gives it shape and substance. The sound and variety of light coming from the gate increases in pitch as the Little One finds the place to unlock its treasures. Placing her tiny palm on the gate her hand fits perfectly on the tumbler, she is the key.

A cry of sheer pleasure erupts accompanied by a sonic boom of joy, as rainbows of light explode and go to the farthest reaches of the galaxies. The Little One stands in a whirlwind of the most intense light and movement.  She can hear The Great Three laughing and shouting in triumph. More of their Realm is released to all. She closes her eyes basking in the torrent of pure life flowing from the opened gate. Eventually the intensity diminishes and a flow more akin to a babbling brook flows steadily from the opened gate. She looks to the Great Three and the smile of their approval sets the Little One’s soul alight. Springing through the flow of light and sound she is ready to go on to the next gate! One headwater has been released and the Great Three have more for the Little One to unlock…

I am craving lemon custard pie with a big dollop of whipped cream, to the point that I can smell it and taste it melting in my mouth.

No, I’m not pregnant.  Isn’t that the question everyone wants to ask when you crave something weird?

We began this summer with a trip unlike any we had every taken before. A trip with two other families from church and a week long vacation to the beach… both firsts. Going into it, I was a little nervous. These are friends who I’m very familiar with, but I’m not fully comfortable in my own skin sometimes, much less letting others in that close to my daily life.

See growing up, the montra was “Conceal. Don’t feel. Don’t let them know”. So after hiding for so many years, God has had me on this journey of letting others in.  In fact, the year began with sharing all the nitty details of my story with a few close female friends. That was stretching. And now here I am with two other families. I felt some comfort from the Holy Spirit. A friend had given me a word about swinging on a white hammock eating watermelon. The Lord wanted to show me His goodness this summer. The place we stayed had a white hammock…

It was a fantastic week. Not only did we get along really well, but it gave us all freedom to have some alone time with our spouses and with God. Every morning like clockwork, the Holy Spirit nudged me to roll out of bed, slip on those studded flip flops (the ones they warn you not to wear at the beach in the water, because they attract sharks), and come watch the sunrise. He spoke so many wonderful things to me this week about His glory. He spoke to me about being ready to shine, about being like a bird who is one of the weakest of all creation, yet can fly to the highest heights, taking my fears and tossing them into the sea of His love.

On the last night of our time together, all the adults gathered on the musty screened in porch. We brought little lanterns out to provide some light. Each couple took the hot seat, while the others laid hands on them and prayed. As they got to me and my husband, one friend began to say, “Did someone burn a candle that has a lemon scent? I smell lemons, sweet lemons.” She started to giggle. “And I see a lemon custard pie.” Another friend said, ” I see a dollop of whipped cream, but I didn’t know what it meant.” So, as she prayed, the words began to flow about how I had had a lot of lemons thrown my way in my life, but my heavenly father was taking those lemons and making me a delicious lemon custard pie. Not only would I be able to enjoy the deliciousness of it, but when others get around me they would only see and taste of the goodness of that pie. Well, I just thought that was wonderful. Sweet lemon flavor is my favorite!

You see, I had been thrown a lot of lemons. From early childhood, I had experienced horrible abuse, and had hidden it all, until in my thirties when the book of my heart was opened.  Holy Spirit has faithfully, methodically been healing and mending my broken heart ever since. But I’ve not really seen the full freedom yet.

There have still been some really hard days. Some days I’ve wondered if it would be worth it all. Some days I have still felt like a dark cloud has sat on my soul, and anxiety has plagued me. But I know this now, my heavenly father really does love me, and He promises me that He will take all the pain, all the depression, all the crud, and he will make something deliciously, mouth-wateringly good out of it. I can trust Him, and His promises towards me. And I don’t have to be strong for that to happen. I can be as vulnerable and weak as a little bird that can be crushed in a hand. But in the hand of my heavenly father, I just lean into His breath and I can fly.

By the way, the last morning of our beach adventure, I got up with my husband for our final morning walk with our heavenly father. As we began our way back, I turned and looked up on a sand dune. There lay a slice of lemon.

A hush falls with an iridescent mist

Soft yellow light can be seen in the distance

Mesmerized I stand

A hum of anticipation rolls over me

Hum turns to a thrum in my veins – hot and tingly

I close my eyes, taking in an intoxicating scent, perhaps vanilla mixed with rain

I allow all my senses to soak this in

I feel a soft beat in the soles of my feet

Thump……..Thump…….. Thump……..

The beat is in perfect time with the breathless anticipation I feel

Opening my eyes I take in a growing crowd

All of creation is gathering…

A bear brushes by me and I somehow understand him to say hello

Excitement rolls off of every person or creation that passes by me

Light in every color of the spectrum begins to emit from all gathered

Such amazing and variegated shades

Colors I’ve never before seen, no two are alike

Humans, animals, trees, plants, stars – ALL of creation is crowding in

Everyone has ample view of a path through the middle despite the masses gathered

“It’s time” was whispered from somewhere

Those words are echoed in incredible melodic tones by all around me

“It’s Time!!!”

The thumping increases in intensity

The hum in my veins feels as if I can barely contain it

A bubble rises in my chest

Laughter spills out of me in glorious color

Drums are approaching – the beat is in time with my heart – it echoes in my chest

Winged creatures release streak after streak of color in intricate patterns in the sky

A cry is heard “THERE!”

Everyone looks to the left on the path

There must be millions upon millions along this path

The mass as far as you can see begins to change in shape

Light in the most intense concentration is in the middle of the path

A sound arises…

The sound of earth moving and rumbling, joyous laughter, waterfalls after a heavy rain, voices lifted in triumphant shouts

Even the light is emitting sound – “holy” is whispered… and yelled all at once

The mass is moving in wave like motion – all of creation bows

All of creation bows not because it’s expected

We bow because the love and light from The Three are too much to take standing up

THEY – The Holy Three – laughing and somehow touching every being present, move along the path

I bow my head and close my eyes as an intense flash of heat envelopes me

A full conversation happens in an instant, my poor brain is stunned but my spirit is doing backflips

A cacophony of instruments, new and wonderful in shape and sound are in perfect time and tune

The Holy Three with thunder in their voices announces – “Now… A New Day!”

Cheers erupt from all of us and the vibration is wonderfully intense

What a gift… a new day… what a gift… to be invited to participate in this celebration everyday…

To celebrate with Them and join with all They’ve made – I’m speechless

I can hardly wait for the end of the day bonfire…

Psalm 98:4-8 (The VOICE)⁴ Raise your voices; make a beautiful noise to the Eternal, all the earth. Let your joy explode into song and praise;⁵ Make music to the Eternal with the harp; sing a beautiful melody with the harp and chorus.⁶ With trumpets and horns, fill the air with joyful sounds to the King, the Eternal.⁷ Let the sea rumble and roar, and all the creatures it holds shout praise; let the whole world and all those who live in it join the celebration.⁸ Let the rivers applaud and the mountains join in joyful song

During a counseling session often I lead a client back to a traumatic incident. They relive the pain as part of the healing. Even with children the more comfortable they can become in telling a story about something painful, the less it is able to define them. We often go back to that painful incident and ask the Lord to reveal any lies that they believed during that time. Then we move on to asking the Lord what is the truth about that situation.

We repent of believing the lie, we renounce the lie, we declare the truth, forgive all involved including yourself and begin thanking The Lord. The freedom comes as we realize we have viewed everything through our distorted perception of truth. Recently I discovered the ability to do the same thing when trauma happens in our physical body. Especially if it’s a recurring injury.

I injured my shoulder getting in and out of the bathtub. I realized that I had originally injured that arm getting out of the bathtub. I asked the Lord what was common about both injuries. I realized that both times I was dealing with a relationship that was difficult.

So I asked the Lord what lie I have believed about that relationship? Clearly I heard, “You felt like you had to bear the responsibility and some how fix the relationship.” Then I ask him what was the truth?  He said, He wanted me to give Him the burden of changing the relationship and let Him carry it on His shoulders. Wow!

I repented of that lie. I renounced that lie and confessed the truth. I forgave others and myself involved in that broken relationship. I started thanking him and praising him for truth and taking the burden off my shoulders. Amazingly my shoulder started getting better. God loves to take from us the burden that we try to carry. Freedom feels so much better!

Grinding my teeth against the oppressive humidity and heat I trudged along. Would it rain today, I hope? Ugh, if it just wasn’t so bright out. Finally reaching the shade of a trellis in the courtyard I turn my face ever so slightly in a desperate attempt to find even a stingy breeze, no luck. I huff out my frustration, as I look at all the vines I’m carrying. In my normal state of rushing headlong into things I barely noticed that several vines are woven in an impressively intricate pattern of knots around my feet. Lifting a leg that feels twice as heavy as it normally would I realize the vine has rubbed an angry red path around my ankle not unlike a rope burn. Great, one more thing to deal with in this awful, literally hot mess. How did I not realize the sore spot growing? It’s funny how I can get so focused on one thing that I fail to notice my ankle is being used as a surrogate trellis for a very abrasive vine. It seems like these vines never quit. I pull one out and it’s as if it propagates a larger, improved cousin who has roots to the core of the earth.

My frustration is now oozing out of my mouth at a rate that the gateway of my lips cannot stop and my brain has now disconnected, allowing a black sludge of my angry words and frustration to over flow. I watch, fascinated as this black gooey matter drips off my lip to leave a scorched area in the ground. A plume of acrid smoke wafts up from the place the sludge fell revealing a rapidly growing vine. Man those vines are everywhere. I start tugging as more black sludge pours from my mouth. At first it was disconcerting to see this stuff coming out of my mouth but then I stop caring. Really, what difference does it make if it’s scorching the ground, this area is so eaten up with this vine that never ends and chokes the life out of anything I plant anyway.

The ooze is now flowing as well as a mountain fed stream after a heavy rain. The more I pull and vent the faster oozing black sludge falls and the vines get harder to pull out. I know whose fault this is, and with that person in mind I grasp at the vine whose base is as big around as my leg! How had I missed this monster?! Quiet and panting for the first time in minutes I study the vine trying to decide on the best method of attack. Growling from a place I didn’t realize existed deep in my chest I grasp the vine with both hands, and plant my feet to allow the use of all my body weight as leverage against this behemoth. I yank with everything I’ve got and hear a yelp that startles me from across the courtyard! Letting go and shielding my eyes from still blazing sun I see the very person I hold responsible for this mess! Boy, now I’m “fit to be tied” as we say here in the south. How dare they be in this space! Now I’m really fueled and grab the massive growth with every ounce of contempt I feel for this person, knowing with this impetus of anger I can surely dislodge the roots. I heave with a mighty burst of frustration the black sludge also shoots from my mouth! I hear that same person yelp again at the same time I also feel a sharp shooting pain from my ankle that causes me to drop to my behind panting.

Blood is pounding in my head as accusations fall from my lips charring every visible inch of ground around me except of course the vine with which I am fiercely embattled. Sucking wind has slowed the flow of sludge from my mouth. The vine that is grasping my ankle has tightened and is cutting into my skin causing a little rivulet of blood to flow down my foot. Normally this realization would have caused me to spew with renewed fervor the hateful sludge of anger and frustration but I’m spent. I’m tired of the heat, tired of fighting all of my surroundings to no avail. Leaning my sweat soaked head against my knees I close my eyes, wishing to be anywhere but here as I can now hear the person I hold responsible speaking and the very sound of their voice grates on my frayed nerves.

Really, couldn’t they go anywhere else but here? Wow, the softest albeit still warm breeze whispers across the back of my neck. I moan wishing it was cooler and gustier. Almost as if I had some say in this the breeze swept in again a few degrees cooler and with a little more force. Squinting I see the breeze has a gold shimmer that lends a sharp contrast to the blackened ground around me. The breeze seems to gather and flow along that mighty vine and highlight in shimmering gold the vine’s path through the overgrowth. To my astonishment I realize the farthest end of the vine is wrapped around the person I shower with contempt. Adding to my horror this nefarious vine had also grown the abrasive tendril now causing me a great deal of discomfort around my ankle. In disgust I realize that answers my question of why that person couldn’t “be anywhere but here”; because that stupid vine was wrapped around their feet much as it was mine! How in the world did that happen?!

Baffled I turn my attention again to the root. I swear the thing has grown in diameter since I discovered it! The breeze sweeps in again causing the trees to move and whisper. The heat must be getting to me as I am certain they said my name. There it is again! Although now it’s hard to hear because the person I hold in such contempt has stumbled closer in the effort to disentangle from the vine… fantastic. On the brighter side the breeze has now become a welcome cool wind with tinges of blue in the gold shimmer.

My entire body responds by relaxing into the refreshing Wind as I close my eyes blocking out my surroundings and breathing deep to relish the reprieve from blasting heat. No mistaking it this time, I hear my name accompanied by a lingering caress of The Wind on my cheek. The Wind now has my full attention, speaking in its usual lilting flow The Wind begins to talk to me. “What you have said about that person you hold in such contempt is what binds them to you. Why would you bind yourself to another and then have to pull that weight along throughout every aspect of your life? Release them, not because of how you feel about them but because you cannot move and go places being so tied up to others.”

Completely appalled at the thought that I could be making the situation worse for myself I look again at the person still tangled in vine. I certainly don’t feel any softer of heart toward them but I realize The Wind is right. The vine of great root holds us both and the black sludge I had been spewing was acting like the best fertilizer I’d ever seen with the root literally growing before my eyes. Realization is starting to dawn like a rainy morning – with reluctantly clearing clouds. One thing I know for certain is that I NEVER wanted to be tied to that person, and then having to haul them through my life? No thanks! How had I not realized I was feeding the whole thing? Gritting my teeth I ask the question knowing I probably won’t like the answer; how do I release us?

It may have been a bird but I know I hear The Wind laugh then say; “Just let it go”. I roll my eyes as the lyrics to a recent popular movie soundtrack (I know you know which one I mean) play in my mind. I’m not holding onto that person or the vine so how do I let it go? Ebbing and flowing but in constant motion touching everything The Wind continues; “I know at this point you don’t see that person like I do, broken and needing help, so let them go for your own good. So you can move freely. Let them go by doing the exact opposite of what you’ve done to entangle yourselves!” Right, well that seems straight forward, ha!

Replaying the day in my mind I see myself struggling with the brush and vines. I see the sludge increase as I give into the thoughts that none of this matters anyway, stuck is stuck. And that’s when I saw it. That moment when I decided none of my efforts matter the vine began growing fast in the deep fertilizer I was so eloquently providing with my spiteful aspersions and judgements on that person and my plight.

While I see how the entanglement happened, I’m still no softer hearted and part of me still feels justified in the things I have said about that person. The Wind picked up again and more blue shimmer was mixing with gold, the area is starting to get covered. The Wind reminds me “How will you get out of where you are if you don’t cut the ties and stop the process of binding? You don’t want to stay here yet you keep yourself here. It starts small, baby steps even. Let go because YOU need to be free, then you will see a little better with the underbrush cleared out and you can rest a little more. Then the best part will happen, you will see the way to blessing their path out of this courtyard! But it’s really up to you to decide. By the way the change won’t be easy to maintain. It requires different thinking and different action or reaction to accompany different thinking. That’s not easy, but I KNOW you can do it! We are ALL rooting for you – pun definitely intended my friend – from the smallest crawling critter to the outer expanses of the universe you’ve not yet visited. Everything is watching because everything you do matters, never forget that… ”

Seriously off kilter now I sit like a bump on a log rolling all that over in my mind. Not really knowing what else to do I simply say; ok, I see it – I don’t want to do it this way anymore, but I need help to change. A loud whooshing sound blew past my right ear and I looked to see a fiery axe come down and obliterate the once imposing root. Instantly the vine around my ankle was gone. Looking up I see the person topple over as they were released quite suddenly themselves. Still being rather small in my thinking I laugh at the fact they fell over and instantly look around for any shoots of vines popping up. Relieved that I don’t see any new imposing sprouts I hear The Wind whisper bemusedly “at least you’re watching out now…”

I hope to be doing a lot more watching and listening rather than spewing!

Ecclesiastes 1:8 (The VOICE) Words, words, words! So many words! They are wearisome things; and yet people cannot refrain from speaking. No eye has ever surveyed the world and said, “I have seen enough”; no ear has ever listened to creation and said, “I have heard enough.”

Proverbs 18:6-7 & 21 (The VOICE) When a fool’s lips move, a fight breaks out; it’s as if his mouth is begging for a beating. ⁷ The mouths of fools are their destruction, and their lips entrap their very souls.

Verse21- ²¹ Words have power in matters of life and death, and those who love them will savor their fruit.

Our loving Papa gave us authority in our words so they are important! And even at my age sometimes my best choice is simply not giving voice to my first reaction. The age old saying “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” works but my goal is to get to the place that I not only control what I shouldn’t say but I take the next Kingdom step to say what They (Father, Son & Holy Spirit) say about the person or situation automatically!

Yesterday at lunch, the Lord gave me a prophetic word for our waitress that gave us both goosebumps!  This week my family and I have been in Chicago.  Ostensibly we are here for a conference for my daughter, but as usual, wherever we are, we are really here for God’s purposes.

So yesterday we had lunch at an old-school Chicago restaurant.  The food was good, the ambience was nice enough, but the wait-staff had been there a looonngg time and everyone seemed quite grumpy and set in their ways.  Yet, to me, a light seemed to shine on our waitress.  So I prayed and asked the Lord if there was anything He wanted to say to her.

Immediately I felt that our waitress was noble or a noble.  The story/myth of Anastasia, the Russian princess who is said to have somehow escaped the firing squad that killed all of her immediate royal-family members came to mind.  In the story, Anastasia escaped and lived under an assumed name, possibly in America.  All the while knowing her royal status, but living as a “normal” person.

The Lord was showing me that our waitress appeared to be a “normal “person, but in His sight she walks in the nobility of being His child in the world around her that does not recognize her nobility.  He knows who she really is and sees her graciousness toward others.  Every seemingly little act of kindness she does in the course of her day is set apart as special because of the noble and gracious heart that offers it.

So, at the right time, I thanked her for her service to us and told her I had prayed for her and then, I told her what the Father had said about her.  Half-way through she said, “OMG, that is so weird because my friends shared a personality test with me on Facebook and my results said that I was “too kind.”  She showed me her phone and there it was, the “official pronouncement” from Facebook that she was “too kind”.  All her friends agreed that she went out of her way for so many people and for strangers.  They agreed that she probably gets taken advantage of on a regular basis.  They tried to tell her that she really shouldn’t be so kind.

So I smiled at her and finished the word the Lord had given.  He reminded me how the word gracious was used to describe Jesus.  I showed her the simple definition from the dictionary that said that graciousness is “having compassion and respect for others, especially those of a lower status.”  I told her that she was just like Jesus, the King, who came down to serve the lowly. Right then we both got goosebumps, as Holy Spirit confirmed the word to her!

Do you see how sharing this word was how Jesus chose to encourage his daughter to keep going in the right path when all her friends were telling her the opposite?!  This is the gift of prophecy in its simplest form.  It is a gift that is intended to strengthen and encourage the church.  I heard from the Lord and shared what he said to me for her.

I could not have known about her Facebook test results or what her personal friends had been telling her, but Jesus did and he did not allow His daughter to be taken out by the words of people who don’t agree with Him.  Our simple willingness to share what we hear from the Lord, though it often feels awkward, can reap much for the Kingdom, with or without the goosebumps.