A Little Visit…

That time of day already huh! Goodness would you drop that backpack already? Just leave it there at the bottom of the stairs, no need to lug it another inch. Your hunched shoulders tell me that thing weighs a ton. Now close your mouth you’ll catch flies, you act like you’ve never been here. Come on up to the porch, I have a pitcher and a glass there with your name on it. You still get the rocker that squeaks but you’ve sat in it enough to know it’s comfortable. What a look that is on your face! It always amazes me how we have to start from the beginning each time to help you remember this place. When you were a young’un you’d just run up those stairs, bowl me over with a hug and then guzzle down every bit of the contents in that pitcher. My, my, the energy you have. Don’t you snort at that! You’ve still got that energy, that life bubbling inside, things just seem a little different now with age – but it’s only perception.

Now have a seat, some of that tension in your shoulders is easing in that old rocker isn’t it? Whatever is running in that wonderful mind of yours will still be there in a bit. For now just breathe and really look around. Look – there’s Tekoa. Ah, some recognition glimmers in those eyes of yours. Who wouldn’t remember such an impressive wolf, he looks so serious at first glance but look at him now; chasing lightning bugs and howling like a freshly weaned pup! Finally a chuckle out of you it’s about time! Still uncertain that you’re really here watching a wolf chase lightning bugs in the cool twilight of the hill country? What does it matter if you’re dreaming or awake? Aren’t your dreams real? Apparently Tekoa has tuckered himself out finally. Look how he shuffles up the porch steps panting. Silly pup, no don’t panic he’s just going to curl up at your feet, he’s played with you since you were a pup yourself. No, no I assure you, you’ve not lost your mind.

You get faster at remembering this place each time you visit but I just wish you’d let that “young’un memory” kick back in because you just trusted you belonged. That’s ok though, I don’t mind reminding you who you are and where you’re from because I enjoy reliving our times together. Not all our times have been as quietly joyful as this night. Even the painful times though have been bittersweet and no amount of pain and shouting could stop the wheels I have in motion for you. Even flowers have to break through hard soil to really unfurl.

Now, let’s start with something simple – who are you? No, not a name like what you’re familiar with… That’s alright, let’s don’t get too hung up on that question. Let me elaborate a bit, sometimes I call you Anamchara – soulmate, other times you are my Laoich – warrior. There is a lot in a name and they are all important but my favorite name for you is – “mine”. Feel that warmth in your chest? Yes, that’s where recognition and remembrance starts. It’s not a brain function, it’s a heart function that then travels to your brain. Just let that warmth spread as your true eyes open, the eyes of your heart. You are starting to remember little by little who you are, not your title…

I can see realization starting to break like a sunrise! Let’s try a different question – how was your week? Hold on, let me write this down. Wow that’s quite a list… let’s see if I heard you correctly because I don’t remember these times but I’m glad you brought them up. You yelled at your kids after picking a fight with your spouse? Screamed at the person who was driving at least 10 miles under the speed-limit? Were quietly jealous of your friend’s seemingly all together life? You said some pretty creative disparaging things about people at work under your breath? And there are others I wrote down but that hit the high points right? Good, let me just take care of this really quick. Yep, you got it, everything you told me and I wrote down is just a pile of ash. I have no patience for regrets that will hold you back and with my very breath I will incinerate anything you will let me take. Look how the breeze scatters the ashes, gonna be great fertilizer for my roses over there. Won’t be easy to piece that list back together now! Now that part is done let me tell you what I saw this past week…

I saw my young’un overwhelmed, but not down for the count. Man I get excited watching you rally! Even in those hard times I see that spark of light start to build inside. I ached with you on the days your frustration spilled out onto your family and friends so I sent some extra help your way. I saw you rise above after you cried out and accepted our help. Just whispering “help!” and no more will always have us running to you and bringing you to the higher places. Remember how you later apologized to your family? I was so proud of your simple “I’m sorry” I could have popped! Here is the thing, you are right to tell me all the challenges you’ve faced because only then can I take them from you and banish them. But you are forgetting the most important part – we don’t see the challenges, we’re not keeping score, we just see you and truly couldn’t be more thrilled with you.

You’re not a “failure” at anything. Some qualities I’d to see a little more clearly in you and are harder to bring out than others so we have to try a situation a few times to get it right. Remember the breeze on your face as tears of hopelessness trickled down your cheeks when no one was around? That was me catching your tears to keep for a greater purpose you don’t even know yet. Nothing is wasted I use everything, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. I don’t know where you all started to think we only use the good stuff that happens. There’s that “head sense” again. Such a wonderful brain! Just use it wisely, your heart and spirit need equal time to talk with me and work on things too! We can accomplish a lot in a short time as you will see when you get back to the other place.

Yes, this place exists all the time. It kind of plays in the background, like those apps everyone messes with these days. However, I will admit to great enjoyment at sling-shooting a bird through the air at obstacles now and again! What, you think there’s no WiFi on this hill? Ha! You wouldn’t believe the networks around here. This place is your reality too. You’re really from here, this wonderfully changeable but consistent place. Everyone experiences it differently but we are always here, waiting and cheering you on. You should hear the noise around here when you do something as simple as letting the older, slower woman in line ahead of you at the grocery store – even while you grind your teeth. It’s like the Fourth of July on steroids! Ah, I see that young’un in your eyes again. You have always belonged here, you’re just visiting the time and place you think is more real than here. Tekoa feels warm and real curled up on your feet there doesn’t he?! Remember where you come from – it’s pretty good family stock you know! Oh my, that’s a big yawn, I’m glad to see you’re settling in. Would you look at those fireflies? Too many to count you say? Funny you say that… Rest your eyes for a bit and we’ll talk more later about who you are, we have plenty of time…

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