The Word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than any two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow.  It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. (Hebrews 4:12)

I love this verse!  Especially the part that says that the word of God is ALIVE and POWERFUL!  It does something good to my spirit when I read that!  Abundant life should be alive and powerful!  Right?

Today, the Holy Spirit drew my attention to the words “joint” and “marrow.”   So I looked up the meaning of the two greek words in Strong’s Concordance.  As usual, it was fascinating because what I found was unexpected but made perfect sense.

Now, clearly, I am not a theologian, but I do enjoy discovering word meanings when Holy Spirit makes me inquisitive about a verse.  So, for those who are interested, check out Strong’s G719 and it’s root, G716 for the word, “joint” and Strong’s G3452 for “marrow.”  For those who would never open Strong’s and do not have the app on their phone, let me just explain what I found.

The word for joint stems from the same root word as chariot.  Like a physical joint, it is an active word.  Specifically a “war chariot” armed with many scythes. The word for marrow means, not too surprisingly, “enclosed within.”

The writer of Hebrews tells us that the word of God is able to cut between joint and marrow.  

So, I’m interpreting that to mean that it cuts between (the joint), the active weaponry we wield to protect our hearts from pain,

and (the marrow), the innermost wound enclosed within.

Though we might try, in pride, to hide our wounded hearts, the word of God is able to seep in and take down our defenses and get past fig leaves to the innermost part of the matter.

I see that the word of God is able to lay open a wound, not to embarrass or expose, but so that it can be healed.  Through His living and powerful word, He points to the discord between our soul and spirit.  This place of discord is where wounds are formed and fester.

Although the soul of a believer has been made new, it is also being transformed, so fleshly habits sometimes arise here. Our thoughts, will, or emotions sometimes still agree with old habits.

The spirit of a believer, which has been renewed, agrees with Christ in me.  My spirit is alive to Christ and to the perspective of Heaven.

When the Holy Spirit exposes our wound, He speaks the truth of His word over it and His word brings light and life to those covert and dark places.   He shows us the separation between soul and spirit.

When we allow the Word of God to penetrate deeply within us, our hearts are being repaired and made new.   We are convicted of our wrong thinking, our strongholds.  From the point of my agreeing with God, repentance and healing begins.

Having just returned from a women’s ministry weekend in which I saw many wounded hearts healed, this interpretation was extremely clarifying to me.

Over the past few years, I have repeatedly seen the poor results of trying to protect our own hearts.  The wounded and self-reliant saint may be anesthesized to her pain, but she is also left without sensitivity to any other emotions.  A spiritual and emotional numbness characterizes a long-term case of self-protected heart.  Sometimes we call this depression,

As it is in the natural, it is in the spirit.  Just as it is vital to healthy living that a person be able to discern pain in their body, it is vital for a healthy soul to discern pain.  How else can the cause of the pain be addressed?

Many times the experiences that have wounded us, also make us reluctant to trust our hearts even to Jesus.  Here in Psalm 91:4 we see God’s Fatherly role: “With his feathers he will cover you, under his wings you will find safety. His truth is your shield and armor” (ISV)  His truth is supposed to guard your heart.  If we take up God’s job, we have entered into a subtle form of idolatry.  We are looking to ourselves for protection and covering, instead of to God’s truth.

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. Psalm 28:10

When repentance comes and we decide to stop trying to be God and turn it back to our Father, tears of joy, tears of acceptance, tears of relief, tears of remembrance come.  He peals back the calloused shelter we have built and reveals the new heart that He has written His truth upon.

At an event like the one I just attended, this kind of healing may come through the ministry of other believers.  But I know, personally I have been healed of many wounds in my soul, by allowing the sharp, double-edged sword to cut between my joint and marrow.   To take down my self-erected defenses in favor of truth and love.

Trusting Him with my whole heart is rewarded.  Holy Spirit begins to show us how to live from a whole and healed heart that trusts in Him wholeheartedly.  From this place I am free to truly experience the abundant life Jesus paid for us to live.  From this place, it is easier to take my eyes off of me and truly care about you.

When I don’t self-protect, I can offer my whole heart to you recklessly, just like God offers His to me, knowing I can trust him to both protect me and, through His word, to lay open the wounds I receive to his surgical Truth and laser Light.

Yesterday was a day of cooking.  I’m preparing for a busy, pre-holiday weekend that has a ministry event right in the middle of several social events.  As I worked through the day, I was thinking of the many things we have to be thankful for this year.  The miracles that have occurred throughout our year and also the not-yet things that have been promised to us.  I was tired but full after a night of laughter, hosting some dear friends for a simple dinner last night.

This morning, when the phone alarm went off, seemingly way too early, but at the usual hour I picked it up to turn it off and it appeared to say 1:11 ALMOND across the front.  I blinked and looked again and saw the alarm properly set 5 a.m and not 1:11 and turned it off.  I mentioned it to my husband and he said, “I think what you saw is “ALARM.””

Still, I felt like Papa was getting my attention.  As the ALMOND word poked my groggy brain awake to the realization that the Lord had shown one of those prophet boys an almond branch.  It was either Ezekiel or Jeremiah.   I remember it because it is a neat picture of a prophet being trained by the Lord.

It was Jeremiah 1:11!  REALLY? No way!  Yes, really.

(Aside) Do yo see how easy it is to miss the Lord speaking to us? Papa God loves to coax us with the allure of hints, into the adventure of relationship with Him.  See Proverbs 25:2, “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; but the glory of kings is to search out a matter.”

Now I had not had my coffee yet, so it took me a bit to figure out what He was saying to me.  Initially when he said 1:11, I assumed He was taking back to Genesis 1:11, because He has been talking to me about 1:11 and the seed bearing plants and trees that produce fruit after their own kind all year.

Before I went to Genesis, I Googled Almond in the Bible.  Several things came up: In Gen 43:11, Jacob sent the boys back to Egypt with gifts to present to the Egyptian Ruler (Joseph) as a witness of his gratitude and personal wealth.  Almonds are included in the bounty.

In Gen 30:37, Jacob puts 3 kinds of peeled tree branches in the water for the livestock to look at and reproduce.  One of them was an almond branch.

In Numbers 17:8, Aaron’s rod sprouted in the tent of testimony, and produced buds, blossoms and almond fruit.  All of these have to do with witness.

In Jeremiah 1:12 the Lord affirms what Jeremiah has seen.  “And the Lord said, “That’s right and it means that I am watching and I will certainly carry out my plans.”   In other words, Wait and see, my words will be fulfilled!

After I realized that, I went back to Genesis 1:11, even though through the year I have come to know it quite well.  I noticed I had written a note in my bible next to the verse.  It said Jan 2017- that is when He first began sending me to that verse this year.  Month 1.  Now, here we are in November.  Month 11.  I laughed, then I cried. He is telling me that He is watching over His word, His plans, His promises to us and He will certainly carry them out! What a year! Wow!

Now you might say that we prophetic people get all caught up in details like numbers and symbols and words, but they are the language God uses to catch our attention.  They are the shiny attention getters to help us listen for the still small voice.

If you want to know the truth, they are the language of the Bible.  Symbols are everywhere in the Bible and give amazing depth to the words.  Words are chosen precisely and each name carries depths of meaning.  Numbers in the Bible also carry richness, far beyond what my mind can currently handle.

Psalm 91:4, a verse I recite often, is so true, “His faithful promises are my armor and protection!” They are what I hold onto no matter what life looks like in the moment.  I love that He reminded me today that He is watching over His promises and will carry them out for us!  Maybe I will plant an almond tree this year as a visual reminder.

I am so blessed to know Him and to His humor, His love notes and His faithfulness.

I encourage you to pull out the promises He has given you, even if they were long ago, and thank Him for their fulfillment.  I pray it makes for your happiest of Thanksgivings, this year and in the year of their fulfillment too.

Happy Thanksgiving!

He healed my heart through art.

Sitting at my art table staring at the blank canvas on my easel, I envisioned a single flower. Pink or maybe purple, I thought I would make it. Vibrant, tall and strong it would be with its face pointing upward toward the heavens. As I eyed the blank slate in front of me I pondered “what kind of flower should I make it?” So I searched butterflies and flowers, one of my favorite combinations. I seemed to have been in a season of painting butterflies too. At least the Lord was allowing me to see them in the natural and the spiritual so I painted them. I believe it was a sign of what he was really doing in me. A personal “metamorphosis” if you will.

I was in a season of transformation, spiritually and physically. I found an image of a butterfly on a gerbera daisy. The daisy was a beautiful shade of pink, with hints of purple. Very vibrant! I said to myself “that’s the one!”

So I poured the colors I would need for the painting onto my pallet and began creating the picture in my mind. I took a pencil to the 12×12 canvas and lightly sketched out where I wanted the flower to be. The painting began to take shape as my brush moved up and down creating the strong, straight stem. It was a luscious apple green color with highlights of where the light would hit it.

I moved onto the petals and moved my paintbrush back and forth, carefully placing the petals around the stem. Tracing them with my eyes, looking ahead to see where the next one would go. Placing the shadows underneath and the highlights on top, my brushed bounced around effortlessly. My flower, my vibrant, tall, strong flower had emerged. It had LIFE! At least in my eyes it did.

You see at that moment when that daisy emerged and came to life on that canvas I heard the Lord say “You are that flower and you have bloomed after the rain.” My heart fluttered and my spirit lit up. He was right! After all I had been through I was coming out victorious by the power of Christ. I had bloomed again but this time it was different. This time I was stronger, vibrant and standing tall. Just like the flower I created!

As I played worship music I began to paint the rest of my creation. I now saw it as a mirror image of the process I had gone through in the current year. Even though my story and struggle go back well over 15 years, the season I was in was fresh in my mind.

I had gone through two deaths in the family within 24 hours, I was depressed, my anxiety had reached an all time high and I was physically fatigued and in pain. Then the Lord so tenderly reminded of the word He had been giving me over and over again the last several months. He told me “Do not worry or be anxious, trust me I am doing a new thing” referencing the Isaiah 43:19 scripture. “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland” (NIV bible).

When I would find myself drifting into anxiety he would remind me of this promise. I could hear him so clearly every time! It would comfort my heart and bring peace immediately to my spirit.

I took my brush and painted the background, mixing colors and painting some sections with vibrant pigments and some softer in color. Once the background was in place the Holy Spirit guided me to make a section look like the glory of God and another like rain. So I took metallic gold paint and applied it to the left side of the painting to depict the glory of God, making long brilliant strokes.

It faded into the next section where I depicted the rain, which represented my broken spirit and my struggle. I took a bottle of paint and applied it to the top edge of the painting and I just let it drip down the canvas. Allowing it to run where it desired. The color of the rain was rich hues of a blue-green, like the depth of the ocean on a stormy day.

I proceeded to finish the painting around the flower. This is where the softer hues of color came in. Depicting the tender, compassionate, gentle spirit of the our Lord, I saw a pattern appearing as I painted down the canvas and through the petals. It looked like a spout of water running through it. It was the living water of the Lord flowing from above and as it washed through the petals and the Spirit gave it life. I saw it, like a little river flowing from above.

The brush of color was one continuous stream flowing down, in and through that flower. I knew at that moment this was a prophetic word from my Lord and he was releasing healing to my broken spirit and wounded heart. I could feel the healing and the joy emerge as I saw what was happening in front of my eyes. My hands were simply an extension of the Holy Spirit.

I finished the painting off by topping the center of the daisy with specks of metallic gold paint. Once again to depict the glory of God. The Lord had taken me through the storm and deposited his glory on me like a crown. My flower was standing tall and strong, vibrant with the glory of God adorning its crown. It was indeed facing toward heaven overflowing with joy. I couldn’t help but to weep upon the completion of this piece because I saw me. I had bloomed after the pain. I had bloomed “after the rain”. To this day this painting evokes so many emotions and feelings in me and in other people when they see it. I am mostly told how beautiful and inspiring it is. I am here to tell you it is possible to bloom again after the rain!

Well I have been away from writing for a while.  I have been traveling lots over the past 2 months both receiving and ministering.  I feel so full when I arrive home and so excited to be with my family again, and then the struggle to get back to everyday life comes and it is a bit of a battle to process everything I have experienced and everything I have received.  Yet all the while I know that when I’m not given time to process, it is not time to do it yet.

Immediately when I got home from the last trip, my family and I also attended a 3-day long conference at our church that had me receiving tremendously again!  So now I’ve been home a couple weeks, and the processing time is starting to come.

As part of that processing, this week I’ve had lots of dreams.  For me, that often means, not an epic dream, but fragments of a dream.   Often I have a very short but intensely real dream.  Either way, I wake up and write down whatever I can recall right then.  Realizing that most of our dreams are one way that God talks to us, I value them and try to keep track of what He is calling my attention to through dreams.

Even when I write them down, I often don’t remember them until or unless I go back to look at my notes.  That’s why it is important to me to write them down so they are not lost.

About 1:30 last night, I wrote down, “Let’s go back to this sovereignty thing.” I only recall that I heard a man’s voice say that to me, as if in an ordinary conversation and then I woke up.

Now you need to understand that I have been on a journey of understanding for several years. Specifically, a journey of understanding  the authority of the believer with regard to physical, emotional and spiritual healing.  I don’t recall specifically studying God’s sovereignty recently, but what is recent to God?!

Early morning I was reading a fascinating devotional by Dr. Pamela Legate called, Blessing Your Body.  The book is a 22 day devotional that focuses on the meaning and application to your health, of each of the 22 Hebrew letters.

Dr. Legate quotes the results of a study by the Institute of HeartMath that shows that “our DNA actually changes shape according to our thoughts.  This same study showed that thinking and feeling anger, fear, and frustration caused DNA too change shape according to our feelings.”  (pp.51-52)

As I read, some specific issues from my long ago past came swimming to the surface.  Times when I had agreed with the enemy that I had a right to be angry and frustrated or even fearful.  The correlation to current body issues seemed to be a missing puzzle piece now found.  But what to do about it now?  Those moments were years ago.  Surely whatever was done to the body at that time is over and done, too late to change now.

At this point, I remembered that I had not checked my dream notes from the previous night and was reminded of the short dream about the Sovereignty conversation.

After I found it, I looked up some scriptures that spoke of God’s sovereignty; His power, Him as creator, His dominion over time and space.  I still wasn’t sure exactly what He was getting at.

Suddenly the connection was made for me:  God is SOVEREIGN!  He is Sovereign over time and space.  He lives outside of time, therefore, it is never too late to go back and fix something, because He is as much in the then as He is in the now.

I know that is more than a little mind blowing!  But listen.  As believers, we serve and represent the ONLY God “who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly more than we can ask or think, according to the power that works in us.”  Ephesians 3:20  Perhaps just one small part of His ability being greater than we can ask or think is because He is outside of time and we just can’t really fathom that.

I had a sudden realization or at least a new aspect of understanding that one reason God can heal anything, no matter how long a person has struggled with it, is because the cause and its effect are just as current and present to God as whatever we deem NOW to be.

Secondly, the finished work of Jesus was accomplished long before we were born.  So everything related to our lives, beginning to end, was in the future when it was accomplished.  Therefore, everything in our lives is already accounted for, paid in full.

So here is what I prayed, “Papa, you are God with no limitations.  You created time and space and you do not dwell in them.  So, in Jesus’ name, I ask you to go back to that time with me when I agreed with the enemy to be angry and frustrated and fearful.  Because you are there with me now, I see the lie of the enemy and I renounce that agreement I made with him and I agree with you at that time, to be full of love and peace and joy instead.  I take back everything that was stolen or changed in my body at that time and I call my body into perfect alignment with your will.  I call every bit of my DNA back to agreement with your thoughts about me before I was ever made.

I know for some of you that may be a big stretch.  That’s OK.  For me I hope to come into greater and greater understanding of my God’s sovereignty.  Since He has called me back into this conversation, I will pursue greater understanding of what His sovereignty affords me and all those to whom I minister.  He truly has so much more available to us as His children than we have ever dreamed. As Jesus said, with our God, ALL things are possible. (Matt 19:26)

I know that I have just scratched the surface of what is possible.  What an exciting journey in God to begin exploring the sovereignty of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen. 1 Timothy 1:17

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything.  Not because God has not been very present and doing things, but because it didn’t seem time to write. But here I am again…punching keys on a keyboard, processing this crazy mess called life with my heavenly father.

A month ago, I literally stood on a mountain top in the physical and in the spiritual.  His presence exploded on me and a friend like fireworks of light in a way I’d never experienced before. With a full, “yes!” to His will, my spirit soared.

The very next day, the glory had lifted and a dark cloud descended. The following weeks, that cloud of depression and disillusion hung over me.  For a week, I lay around my house without strength or appetite.  As I write, I still feel it lingering, trying to pull me back in it’s grip.

For several years of my life, I fought depression as I fought for my life, my freedom…a time of darkness that I almost sucked me into a black hole.  These familiar feelings frightened me.

I find though, the darkness doesn’t bother my heavenly Father.  This morning, I heard His voice again ever so gently saying I had gotten my eyes on the waves and forgotten the horizon.  That seems an easy thing for me to do most of the time.  God’s perspective is so much higher than ours.

As I lay in bed, snuggled under the covers, the house quiet, my family already at  church, I unashamedly had slept in.  It was then He reminded me of a kiss.  I call these times God intersects our lives with His love in a tangible way, a kiss from Him.  I had been at an 80s dance the night before with two of my girls.  A friend had hung a dated 1988 photo of me next to a photo of Lionel Richie.  I’ve woken up recently to Lionel Richie songs playing in my head.  As I looked at the photos on the wall, I clearly heard the whisper in my ear, “I just wanted to remind you that I love you.”  So I reached over googling my favorite song from the 80’s, “Hello” this morning.  After listening to it several times and hearing words of His love wash over my wounds, I got up, making it in time to church for our second service.

My friend, the master potter, Gary Wilson, preached a wordless sermon, by creating a piece of pottery in front of the congregation.  As I watched him form the pot, to almost perfection, he quietly shook his head in disapproval.  He suddenly took both muddy hands and crushed the pot, crumbling the clay in his grip, then smashing it back into a ball.  He then threw it back on a marble slab, beginning the painful process of kneading the clay to rid it of imperfections for a second time.  Tears welled up in my eyes.  “That’s how I feel, God.  I thought we had made such progress.  I thought I was finally becoming something beautiful.  I was just starting to believe your promises you’ve made for me.  And I feel like you’ve just taken me back to the beginning. And I’m just a messy lump of clay again.”.

I heard His gentle voice answer, “If I put you back on the slab, it’s only to work out more impurities, so you will be more beautiful. You can trust me.”  As I continued to watch the new pot forming, and the final touches marked in a decorative pattern, the swipes reminded me of scars.  “What you see as scars, if given to me, become beauty marks.  In these places where my love has healed your wounds, I see beauty.”

I don’t understand all the reasons why God chooses to mold us the way He does, or His timing on things.  But I have become convinced that He is good.
So, when disappointment sets in, when God seems to be delaying His promises, when the cloud has descended, and hope seems deferred, and you feel the pressure pushing in, lift your eyes to the horizons, because His promises are steadfast.  His view is quite above our own. Trust Him.  He knows how to make beautiful things out of lumps of clay.

Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. ¹² Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. ¹³ This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ. Ephesians 4:11-13

In the summer of 2015, my husband and I went, by introduction of a friend, to a ranch in West Texas. A few days before, I was praying about the ranch the Lord had shown me was in our future. The ranch is to be a place of healing and provision for many. Because of all the things the Lord had assigned us to accomplish there, we were going to need more land than we had initially been considering. We had looked at buying 50 acres.   Now I was telling Him that I thought we were going to need more. Maybe even 100 acres. He smiled, seeming to withhold a laugh, and said, “How about 1000?” I was stunned! “1000 acres?” I said, “ I don’t even know what that looks like.” At that time I only owned 10.

I mentioned this conversation to a friend who lives in West Texas. She mentioned it to a friend at church. That friend said she thought she knew a lady at church who might have 1000 acres and would be willing to let us see it.

Within a few days we were in West Texas at the home of a stranger who was going to show us a tiny part of their 250,000 acre ranch so that we could see what 1000 acres looked like. God is good…and sneaky! He had more plans for us.

As we walked into this woman’s home, she immediately said to me, “Oh you have an apostolic anointing all over you!” I really didn’t know what she meant. I had not grown up in a church that taught anything about the 5-fold or how that might function in the modern church. On top of that, I grew up Catholic and so the idea of a woman as an apostle didn’t sit too well on my religious spirit.

Only recently had I heard about a group called the “Voice of the Apostles” and had been really getting comfortable with why these men found it appropriate to call themselves apostles. I understood their explanation and found it appropriate. But what could that possibly have to do with me?!

A week or two later, I was at a church in Dallas that was hosting a revival meeting with Randy Clark. It was a small, mid-week gathering of about 60 people. On the second day of the event a young staff member from the church, who I had never met, approached me and said, “I really see an apostolic anointing on you!” Frankly, I was a bit annoyed. I said, “Thank you, but I really don’t know what to do with that.” He looked at me perplexed and tried to explain a bit. Poor guy! I really didn’t receive that very well.

When the conference was over, I ended up spending about a month researching the Apostolic and 5-fold ministries. There were some good reads out there, but I ended up saying; “Lord, I don’t feel very clear about how this applies to me, but if it is something you want me to walk in, then I want to, and I trust you to bring it about and show me.”

Flash forward 2 years. I have been working with a women’s ministry that I was introduced to in the spring of 2015, just before these words were given. My role in the ministry has grown and taken on aspects that find no place in any job description. I work in three different cities with three different leadership teams. Of course, each group has its own culture, and each one is evolving.  With each new event, I see the apostolic role developing very naturally in me.

A diagram of a hand is often used to portray the 5-fold ministry offices.  The Apostle is the thumb because it touches on all the others; the Prophet is the index finger, because it points the way for the church; the Evangelist is the middle finger because it has the longest reach; the Pastor is the ring finger because he or she is wedded to their flock; and the teacher is the pinky finger because they bring balance to the church.

When I first read about the hand diagram, and the Apostle being the thumb, I thought that the thumb touching on each other finger meant that the apostle would work with each other ministry gift. That is true too, but there is more to it than that.

The last event I attended was at the end of May, near Ottawa, Canada. The team there is so appreciative of help and so honoring. I was allowed to teach the leadership team on prayer ministry, sending a video weeks ahead for the foundational mindset to be established, and then teaching in person when I arrived ahead of the event, taking them through prophetic prayer and touching on deliverance ministry. This was the teaching role of the 5-fold.

Then, during the event, the Lord always shows me a few people that He is promoting and I get to talk with them about their promotion and how He sees them. Often that means helping them overcome fears about it or helping them to agree with how heaven sees them. This is a small part, out of many instances throughout the event that highlights the prophetic role.

In other team members, He allows me to recognize their gifting and encourage them in it. Often they are uncomfortable with their gifts and have not learned how to walk in them. I am able to come alongside and help them to understand and get excited about how they can build up the body through their gifting. This is one aspect of the pastoral role.

Many of the people attending these events are not yet Christians.  Through the part of the event where I am a speaker, I am able to introduce believers and pre-Christians to a Jesus they have never met before. I introduce them to a tender and intimate Jesus who has really good news for them. I introduce Jesus, who is very much FOR them. In this way I get to touch on the evangelist portion of the 5-fold.

The role I play as an apostle in the 5-fold changes from moment to moment at these events and, really, in my day-to-day life too. This is quite different from what I thought I understood about the apostolic ministry when I just read about it. I love the freedom I feel in this role and the natural way it puts to work the things I have been learning for most of my life.   I always knew I was not learning these truths just for me.

Often, in our culture, we get hung up on titles and either gravitate to or eschew a title that seems grand to us. In the case of the title apostle, I always think of how both Peter and Paul introduced themselves as apostle and slave of Jesus Christ. There is no being one without also being the other.

It is a beautiful thing to see the body of Christ; the church in action, come alive as each one is allowed to walk naturally in the gifting the Lord has given for the equipping of the saints and the building up of the church.

However grand or low we have appointed each ministry office to be in our minds, each office is simply the way that we are gifted to serve the church and the will of the Lord Jesus. “Now, I laugh at how I resisted the title associated with a role that sits so comfortably with me.   It surely is evidence of the transformation that the Holy Spirit has made and is making in me.