Hi guys, it has been quite a while since I have added a blog post. As a matter of fact, the end of next month will be a whole year! So I have a lot to catch you up on.  Because of that and because of the work the Father has been doing in me, this will be a 4-part blog.  So consider this part 1 of 4.

You know I do a lot of healing and deliverance ministry with people, and it has really seemed this year there has been more need than ever!  

The Lord is making His Bride ready for His return.  He is coming for a spotless bride, so I have heard reports from all around and seen evidence in all the folks I have worked with that Holy Spirit has been bringing many deeply buried issues to the surface in the lives of His people.  It is time for overdue housekeeping in our souls, and Holy Spirit is really good at bringing it to our attention.

My own family have experienced healing and restoration in this year too. This year started off with an unexpected blow and recovery has taken time, patience and grace toward ourselves.  

I am a daughter of God and a friend of Jesus, yet the amazing strength and faithfulness of His Shalom (Peace) has been beyond anything I could have imagined.  The King’s peace has reigned in our lives as we have progressed and evolved in this year.  

2023 seems to be the appointed time for Holy Spirit to reveal festering wounds and lies we have believed, especially about Him.  He is tearing down strongholds we have lived under because we pushed down the pain.  

He is shining light on things hidden in darkness and then, if we are willing, helping us to heal and become strong.

If you have never been healthy, you don’t really miss your cast aside strength.If you have never been free, you don’t notice the weight of the shackles. But when you are suddenly set free there is less baggage taking up rooms in your heart.  Now it’s time for reorganization.  Time for understanding.  And definitely time to fill the voids with more of Jesus!

Your new freedom may make you a little uncertain, but let me tell you, you’re just getting used to the new normal, which is different for sure, but lighter and easier than the old.   

In this blog I hope to give you some keys that have helped me, so that they may help you breakthrough to JOY!

Often when I speak to groups or write blogs, I tend to be a bit teacher-y. I just want to tell you this will be kind of different.  

I’m gonna tell you a lot of little stories of when God stepped into my life at different times, knowing all the details that I didn’t even realize; that is, until it all came together this year.

He has used every part of my life, my thoughts, my fears…everything – to show me how KNOWN I am by Him.  AND to teach me and coax me along with Him.

Then I’m going to TRY to bring it all together for you and, hopefully, help you see that this is going on in your life too. OK?

But First A Bit of Background

About 12 years ago, after an especially rough year, I spent a few life-changing days with a couple of wonderful counselors; Jerry & Denise Basel. The duo helped me into a tremendous amount of healing and breakthrough!

They helped me understand some very important things that allowed me to forgive with greater understanding.

They taught me that we are spiritual beings and so, without meaning to, we apply many things we learn in life to God. Good and bad.  

For instance, if I had a good experience with my earthly Dad, I might be really comfortable with Father God. I would have a good expectation of how He treats me, etc.   But if I didn’t, I might have some very negative expectations of what He thinks about me, how he sees me, His opinion of me – whether or not He is safe.

The same is true in my experiences with siblings or friends – I tend to relate those relationships to my relationship with Jesus.

Finally because, as we know, Holy Spirit is the Comforter, we tend to relate our experiences of our Mom’s with Holy Spirit.  These things made sense to me.

So, like I hope many of you have done I chose to forgive my Mom.  Mostly for her need to control me.  (I had a really great Mom.  But because of her own wounds and the fear they caused, she felt safer if she was in control and “protecting” those she loved.)

In the next moment after I forgave Mom, I had what I now understand as an OPEN VISION.  In other words, I suddenly saw a spiritual story played out right in front of my open eyes while I sat in the room with these two wonderful ministers.  But they were not seeing the same thing I was.

In the vision I saw the faces of what seemed to be every person I had ever known up to that point.  Friends I had met recently, relatives, and even childhood neighbors I did not remember before that moment.  There was a red bloodline connecting all of them.

I was filled with a clear understanding that Jesus knew all of them, fully understood each one’s back story and loved them completely. Amazing.

(Now don’t get all crazy about the word “vision”, this is a very normal experience in the Bible, (yes in the New Testament too).  Check out the book of Acts – Ananias, Saul/Paul and Peter too.)

That experience confirmed to me that, just as I had not wanted my Mom to control me, I had also unconsciously feared that Holy Spirit wanted to control me; so I had blocked Him out.  The moment I forgave Mom, Holy Spirit came alive to me in a new way.  

Now I know that Holy Spirit will never control me – but I really wish He would!

Break for Background Again – Katy

My daughter Katy was born with special needs.  Well, we didn’t really know that at first.  Everything was normal at birth and she was easily hitting her milestones up to 15 months.

Then, over a weekend, after she had just said her first full sentence, she suddenly lost her ability to speak and her ability to use her hands for any purposeful tasks. For a time she developed a far away gaze, seemingly living in another world, apart from us much of the time.

After that weekend, Katy could no longer speak, could longer use her hands for purposeful things.

So she could no longer feed herself, could not dress herself, could not transition from sitting to standing or standing to sitting. She could walk, but not with great stability. 

Later, at the age she was when I was having this healing experience, she needed to wear her riding helmet as she walked around the house because we had tile floors and if she fell suddenly she fell like a tree, with no hands protecting her.

Well, if you are two Type-A people with lots going on, you adapt to life’s challenges. You learn to get around the difficulties so that your family can still have a life. We continued to travel, eat out and have a lot of social life with Katy at the center of our plans.

One of the ways we made those things more do-able was in how I walked with Katy. I wish I had a pic to show you our method.  But it was like this, I would hold her right hand in my right hand and I would put my left arm behind her and tucked my left hand under her left armpit.  That way she was safe no matter which way she might start to fall.  We could get going pretty fast.  We could have been pretty competitive 3-legged racers!

So that was background, but back to spiritual growth: Some months after that breakthrough weekend under Jerry & Denise’s prayerful guidance, I was with some mature friends who were praying and I asked a question and I don’t recall exactly what the answer was, but my friend simply said, ”We’re just trying to seek His Face.”  

I took her very literally!  When I literally tried to seek His face I realized I could only see the Father in my mind’s eye from His shoulders down.  I realized something must be blocking me.

I called on Jerry & Denise again to ask them what to do about it.  

They said, “Let’s ask the Father if there is a lie you are believing about Him.”  

So I did.  

The moment I asked I began to see a picture in my mind’s eye.  It was so very clear.  I saw a brushed and primped little dog with bows on its ears, sitting in a lovely dog bed by a perfect fireplace in a perfect home.

Then suddenly the scene changed and I saw Katy and me walking side by side down our wide hallway in the way I just described to you. My right hand holding her right hand; my left hand supporting her from behind.  She was safe, and I heard a voice say the word, “Cherished.”  

Suddenly I understood what the Lord was showing me.  You see, my earthly Dad was a very good provider.  He worked a lot and we had everything we needed. But when he came home, I often felt like the good little dog with all its needs taken care of.  When the owner returned, it got a pat on the head and that was about it.  

But the Lord was contrasting that lie with the truth.  I am not just a little dog to be patted on the head.  I am cherished by my Heavenly Father, just as Katy is cherished by me.

The little well cared for dog was the LIE I was believing about how my Father saw me.

As if I was well cared for and well provided for, but only someone to get a pat on the head when I had been a good girl.  

Katy, on the other hand was my CHERISHED daughter! She couldn’t really do anything FOR me, but I cherished her and cared for her and took care of all her needs out of love.  THIS was the TRUTH I suddenly understood!

The Father Cherishes me like I cherish my daughter? Wow!  I “knew that” in my mind, but I didn’t KNOW it in my spirit, soul and body as I do now until that moment.

And suddenly there was no distance between the Father and Me.

This is what it means when the Lord says, “Then you will know the truth and the Truth shall set you free.” John 8:32

I was set free by this truth to receive love from my Father.

By the way, not long after that “cherished” vision, Katy and I were laying on my bed laughing together, Katy began smiling up at the ceiling. I looked up to see what she was smiling at and I suddenly could see the Father (like in an outlined form) smiling down on us over the side of his throne! So pleased!  Such amazing fruit of getting rid of that lie!

Another nugget I gleaned from this experience was this. I cherish Katy because she is my daughter.  She is part of me and I delight in her.  I love her even though she lost all of the abilities that made it possible for her to be independent of me.

So this revelation was bigger than, “Wow! He loves me as much as I love her!”

You see, Katy had NO WAY to earn my love.  In many ways she remained like a baby, completely dependent on us for everything.  She needed help to eat, to be dressed, to get to the bathroom, to stand up or sit down, to go to bed.  

She could do nothing to impress me (though she often managed to anyway) but, you know what I mean. She was super smart, but she wasn’t winning awards at school or for her athletics or music or…anything.  I love her because she is mine and I cherish her.  

The Father was showing me that, in my relationship with Him, I am JUST LIKE THAT!  I am not winning his love by my perfection.

He loves me because I am part of Him.  I am IN Christ Jesus.  I am one with Him and He is one with the Father. We exist in love for one another.  The Father is not ashamed for us to be called His children because Jesus has made us perfect in His sight.  We are his cherished children in whom he delights.

When we believe the truth about how the Father see us and cares for us, we are set free.