Raindrops keep falling on my head
But that doesn’t mean my eyes will soon be turning red
Crying’s not for me
‘Cause I’m never gonna stop the rain by complaining

Because I’m free
Nothing’s worrying me

Fifty years ago a doctor hummed that tune as he sauntered into my mom’s hospital room to check on a curly haired, newborn girl.  That girl was me.

My mom reminded me of that scenario last night as we talked on the phone.  As I recalled the words, singing the tune in my head, I said, “Mom, I think that may be my life’s theme song.”  I could feel her smile on the other end of the line.

Though I have my moments of “Oh my Lord, I’m turning fifty,” I must seem a bit weird, because I’ve actually had this excitement welling up in me the last few days, which is kind of different, especially since I’ve had some fairly large raindrops falling on my head in the last few weeks.

So, why in the world do I feel excited?  The answer is pretty simple.  I am so very grateful that I made to fifty, and I’m in such a better place than I was a decade ago.

You see ten years ago, I was struggling through a hurricane.  Those raindrops were huge then; huge!  I couldn’t see through them.  Every day, that I’d wake up, it was a fight to live. I had sticky notes all over my medicine cabinet of scripture verses on life and how I wanted to live, because I was constantly battling thoughts of suicide.

Depression smothered me.  Flashbacks haunted me.  Demons tortured me in my mind. And yes, I was a believer.  I had been faithful to Jesus to the best of my understanding, but I had wounds so deep, they oozed deadly infection; wounds that had been inflicted on me by others, that only Jesus could heal.

All the while, I had three beautiful little girls depending on me to pull through, and a loving, supportive husband trying his best to provide for us, and to help me as best he could.

Most of my church friends turned away during this time. I’ve found out now that scenario is very typical.  I had a few that stood with me.  My counselor wouldn’t give up on me, but most of all Jesus wouldn’t let go of me.

Over these last ten years, Jesus has faithfully, ever so lovingly and patiently, taken me by the hand and led me out.  He guided me through that hurricane, into sunshine, into light, into Him.

You don’t understand how much gratitude I feel in my heart.  I can breathe again.  I can enjoy my life.  I can laugh, and play and sing and dance.  I feel joy and peace and excitement for the future.  I didn’t even know that was possible ten years ago.

Even though some whopper raindrops still come from time to time, and I’m still working through areas of freedom, as I  daily cast my worries on Jesus, for I know He cares for me, I can now sing the last words of the song.  So, if you hear me humming,  “Because I’m free.  Nothing’s worrying me,” you’ll know why.